Braving a New World

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Heavy, heavy rain hammering window pane,

Echoing heavy, heaving heart’s pain.

Glistening raindrop globules huddling on glass

Against sombre, leaden, lustreless skies.

Dull eyes watching rivulets weeping,

Whilst under eyelids tears collect and hang,

Heavy with emotion and apprehension.

Have you ever watched a raindrop roll down the glass?

To meander around a drop that stands in it’s path…

…is just not it’s style and not the done thing.

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Instead, it bulldozes into it and swallows it up,

Continuing to impinge and gobble and grow,

As it slithers it’s ruthless way down to earth.

As with bullies who get their just comeuppance,

Or rather their Karma-uppance…

…and reaping in life  as they have sown,

The raindrop rams into the frame and disintegrates!

Gone.

No more.

So much for all that greedy encroaching…

I have a daughter, beautiful, talented, sensitive,

Her confidence flattened wafer-thin by heavy rollers,

Human bulldozers dressed in human apparel,

Ramming vulnerable, unprotected, gentle souls,

And mother’s heart, embracing the raw suffering,

Rubbing loving salve on wounds that have not healed.

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From the bridge I watch the train round the corner

And bid a quiet and hopeful farewell, to that daughter

Carrying the scars and scabbed wounds of her short life,

Along with heavy suitcase and life’s sundry trinkets…

To London.

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Be kind and caring to my daughter, alluring and tempting Capital.

Beginning to curl up at the edges, reemerge and find her backbone again,

She has already journeyed a long, long way…

But there is arduous terrain yet to navigate,

And a generous daily dose of TLC never went amiss.

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Missing you, my dear and loving daughter…

With a dull ache that all Mothers’ can collectively comprehend.

The anguish and torment felt by Mariam, the mother of Jeshua,

Standing, observing and witnessing with numbing heart- piercing pain,

The slow, torturous, excruciatingly painful death

Of her son, on Rome’s preferred instrument of annihilation…

Coming to mind…

And I am humbly silenced and stilled as I acknowledge

The selfless, unconditional love that manifested for All of Humanity,

In that one, single, humongous moment…

And to all bullies, past, present and future, I extend compassion…

…for they knew not, do not, will not know,

What they did, they do or will do,

And I am trying to forgive them all.

My Love to you, my darling daughter,

Always.

In making me Ruth-less, you are teaching me much wisdom.

A Brave New World indeed.

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# By the way, just to make it clear, I have no desire to be Ruth-less…that would be a most uncompassionate trait to try to develop…my daughter’s name is Ruth! #

 

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13 thoughts on “Braving a New World

    1. Thank you for your comment and Best Wishes for Ruth. This letting go of your children so they make their own way in life is a very hard lesson to learn. In the same way that our journey is our own, and we make mistakes or have moments of euphoria…so must our children, also, learn about themselves. It was so refreshing to see your fingers not gelling this morning, Kunal…it shows you are human and not a robot! Wonderful…and I jest…hope the day was a positive one for you and your daughter, also soon to leave home. Regards.

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  1. I could really feel this one Krys, filled with so much meaning and emotion…
    Sending warmest thoughts your way as you learn to be Ruth-less (I dread the day I become Rachael-less), and also sending best wishes Ruth’s way as she navigates the big wide world in London…

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    1. Aaaaaw thank you so so much for your kind and thoughtful comment! I really appreciate it so much. It really has been tough for Ruth as she was bullied terribly at school…but she has learnt to be very independent and is pretty determined. I so hope and pray it will all work out for her…finding a job, and then somewhere to stay. At the moment she is temporarily staying with her sister, Rae, ( originally called Rachel, also, like your daughter ), so at least she has a sister there to support her. My oldest daughter is also in London…and I am all the way up here in Scotland! I can see 2 out of the other 3 left up here also possibly moving down…more work and higher pay down there and more job opportunities for young folk. Thanks for the good wishes for Ruth…I will pass them on. I hope you have Rachael with you for a wee bit longer, Jewels! Mmm don’t know your Christian name…sorry. Take care and hope you had a bright, cheery day! : >)

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    1. Thank you AnnMarie…I am glad that it made a connection…children tug at your heart strings and you pour out an unconditional love always…regardless and whatever, for a lifetime…it will ever end. At the end of the day, all I wish for Ruth and all my children is contentment and peace, in whatever way it comes about…particular to their individuality. But I will never stop worrying…it is a tough lesson in Life, but I live in hope and trust. Thank you for taking time to comment and take good care x

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  2. Your poem says it all, Krys! The imagery of the raindrops on the window pane sets the tone. A great way to express the pain of seeing your daughter go into the urban jungle. I too hope and pray that all will go well with her and that she finds the strength and resilience to face the challenges of life. Thanks for sharing your motherly feelings with all of us!

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  3. Aaaaaaaaw, thank you so much Peter, your feedback means a lot and I am glad that you and other folk were able to feel some of my anguish and apprehension and hope for a daughter choosing to start all over again in a new place, leaving past memories of Edinburgh behind. Yes, it really was raining that heavily the day before Ruth left and I sat and watched the raindrops…it perfectly echoed my feelings and tied in the bullying theme as well, which was a big issue to address earlier on in her life. Urban jungle London certainly is…it takes courage and bravery to face it…a bit like an intrepid explorer! With thanks for your prayers and good wishes and I hope that all these hopes for Ruth will take wings and wend their way down to London and settle in the vicinity…i e Hackney! and become real. You are most welcome and it is a pleasure to connect with people’s hearts and souls and communicate on a subtle level. Take good care and hope you are enjoying your family’s visit…tho’ not quite sure when that was going to be. Many Blessings to you all.

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  4. Love the rain drop it set the scene for the whole verse and blended every word I feel, very emotional, thank you for shareing, take care be strong , xxx

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    1. Thank you so much my good friend, your lovely comments give me lots of encouragement! It really was hard to see her go, after all the pain and upset she has lived through in her short 25 years…But like you…she has grit, made of strong stuff and never gives up…she has already found a job and made a few friends at work. What she likes about London is that it is SO diverse, so many different kinds of people…a real cauldron, that you do not stick out, you can blend in better with everyone and folk just do their own thing. Thanks Alf, so far so good and good of you to stop and share your feelings. Hope sleep brings you a bit of peace from pain tonight, take care and all the best… 🙂

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